a month in a blur

January has come to an end, at least tomorrow my calendar says it does. The month goes down in history as a bit of blur much like after first having a baby. Actually, the past few months go down as a bit of a blur. Coming down with every kind of sickness floating around and fighting it off seems to have been my motto a couple weeks prior to the holidays and even thereafter.

I'm still in blur mode as I continue to now, with the help of antibiotics, finish dealing with a sinus infection that most likely is having a hard time being warded off altogether naturally due to at this point a completely run down immune system. A first day without needing to do the neti pot to find some kind of relief speaks volumes that there is light at that end of this tunnel and a full recovery is well on its way. I have longed for good health now for what seems longer than I have ever had to deal with, and yet still, I know it is nothing compared to what others face on a chronic level.

I am grateful.

Grateful for grace. Grateful for the Holy Spirit and days run completely on Him and by Him. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for kids, lots of them, still needing me, but really just needing to sit for a hug and a long cuddle. That always remains my best strength even in the midst of less than what I know to be my best. I still have exactly what they need, when they need it.

I still find miraculous grace to make dinner most every night, aside from when others have so graciously and timely dropped something off. This amazes...ME! Especially just moments after I text to Gabe, "I'm so sorry. I have nothing for dinner prepared and I may need to lay down as soon as you get home." Somehow, he has a warm and tasty meal to walk in the door to after a long hard day. I think, Where did I even come up with that one? That was actually really good!

Grace.

I have marked on the calendar school for each day, Monday-Friday. When did we even do that? But alas, there it stands marked with an S for school and there the books sit filled.  Asher is rather independent with book work at this point. Reading we snuggle up on the couch and most 'learning' is done under blankets by the fire. Should it really be done any other way?!

Somewhere in the month I celebrated 28 years of life. And although I was in the thick of a full blown head cold, I was just that, happy for my life as I felt very much alive and aware of my living body. Gifts of grace along the way.

The kids play and find themselves busy on their own accord. Liam has become completely engulfed most hours of the day doing puzzles and Legos. Sophia, I often find up in my room, in my closet to be exact. I find her lost in another world with my high heeled boots on and I love it. I remember days in my own mother's closet looking for the very same thing. Boots, with heels, high ones. Hers were sky blue with fur along the top and I LOVED them! 'Setting up the paints' has become her latest thing for the afternoons. Thanks to a mom who let us discover and make messes has helped to aid in my own, for the most part, 'absolutely' kind of attitude and response.

Asher, with his first pick to draw over pretty much anything else, now enjoys sharing his spare time and the room! with his piano practices. Formal lessons started 2 weeks ago and he'd like to become a legend! I love this child and his whole hearted ambition.

Boaz has been my 'bit of a stretch' for me through all of this. Still needing constant supervision unless the first 10 minutes of a video is playing, sick here and there himself, and not exactly 10 out of 10 on the obeying right away scale (more like 1 out of 10 and usually with a hesitant debating in his little mind kind of response) has kept me up and down from the couch more than I would like.

Upward started for Gabe and Asher which is always an exciting though busy time of life. He never left the house or held a meeting here until babes were bathed, in pajamas with teeth brushed, awaiting just a prayer and tuck in from me after a special movie that kept their attention that hour before bedtime. He still makes sure I am all set come Tuesday nights and he blesses me in ways that meet the need at hand.

So while the snow comes and then goes and then comes and goes again, one thing remains the same, always. God is faithful. This season is one I look forward to saying goodbye to altogether and yet it's completely infused all up in and around with grace and moments where I just needed to bask in, Be still and know that I am GOD. Do I wish those moments away? Hardly. They have been the cornerstone of my saving grace during this season of looming sickness and there is much to learn from this God I call my God. Knowing the One True God still sits on the throne has simply been, in the hardest of moments, enough for me. I have tasted of this grace on very practical levels these past few months and even what has seemed virtually impossible from a man's point of view in other seasons of life. Whatever the situation, His grace has gone deeper still.

His faithfulness remains.

Asher is always designing and making up games for his siblings to play. He is rather creative!
 Way more fun and funnier (the reasoning!) than Candy Land.

Sophia is creative in the kitchen and needs little instruction from me. She is precise and efficient. 

Saturdays it's been me and Li while Bo naps and Daddy and the others are at Upward.

 This one! Such a ham.