I'm not sure exactly what the Lord is doing through our endeavors these days. I know He remains faithful and there is rest for the weary. I know He blesses in abundance, and I know this to be true even now. I am certain I will look back on these days (and years) and wonder how I even did them, but right now, in the present, I can't help but really love and even treasure them. And I know that to be a sole work on His part that I am choosing to embrace. Because let's be honest...some days NOBODY takes a nap and it's a good week before I really touch base with Gabe, sometimes longer.
While I know big things are at work, I couldn't ever articulate what specifically. There is still much excitement and insurmountable peace to be building something with my husband aside from just these four walls, which is still very much my biggest role in this endeavor; the home front. I do know my children are growing and soaking up everything, and we talk deep things, and sometimes our conversations last a really long time. School has been more of tying heart strings, getting our hands dirty, and long hours of putting the time in because I know in my heart now is the time for such things. Never wishing to go back, but rather making it count. Wanting this foundation as strong as it can be to withstand through time and turbulence and tests. Asher calls me several times a day, if at work with Gabe, to say he loves me and misses me. Gabe is happy Asher so very naturally gets my love language in the 'little' things. It must be Asher's too.
I still remain this enormous work in progress, constantly being refined and sought hard after. Molded over, edges smoothed. What a love story. He's not just calling me to be a big girl these days, He's calling me to new places in Him, for His glory. He gently leads beside still waters and everything with Him in is abundance. How could I be lacking right now? Just the opposite. Look who leads me!
Faithful, unmoved, unshaken by me is what I bask in from Him these days. He helps me see my children as He does, really precious and quirky! Full of potential in Him. Called. Funny. Really really funny. Beautiful. Special. He is binding and fashioning me with them in a way that clearly was needed, but because He's faithful to do it. I love that.
I am ever thankful for a mom, my mom, who never put pressure or undeserved weight on things that truly didn't matter, but rather, put it where it really belonged. There she was taking care of us kids, living a quiet and simple life (something I find myself challenged as to what that means and should look like in this day and age with social media outlets, and although I'm not opposed to most, I do wonder what and how much is too much, and honestly?...what would my mom do?), loving my dad with abandon who worked long and grueling years building a company from the ground up, serving us, serving others, loving Jesus, the opposite of materialistic in every way (she wasn't into things or acquiring more and she embodied and lived out for me the very definition of content in all seasons of life. My father knew he found a gem in her because of it, he often said so!), always welcoming, laughing (a lot), patient, simple, kind, quiet, joyful, strong, consistent... always. And from the time I was just a little girl I knew who she really looked to for her strength and joy and worth. Dad was funny and one of the best, but we all knew it was God.
I'm so thankful for the footsteps to see in the sand and follow hard thereafter simply by her example. There just aren't many like it! A living, breathing, tangible expression of how to live these very days. It never has spoken to me quite like this all of my prior existence. Maybe it's been preserved for such a time as this, the season being now. What a gift I have just been relishing in! Truly and madly!
Thank you Mom. Your life speaks to me every day in some kind of way, and I want to be like you when I grow up!
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