when and now...

 When Asher was 18 months and Gabe had NO gray...

When her toddler curls and diaper booty profile were the cutest I've EVER seen...

When his lashes and hair were nearly white as snow... 

Albino baby?!

When he wore white onesies the whole live-long summer day and I took his month-to-month picture religiously...

When he was just born. My baby BOY, with dark hair, who I dreamed much about...

When I had short hair, and CURLY at that...

Wow God, you're faithful. Just really, really faithful. May you look upon me in my quiet and simple little life here and find me faithful to be dwelling in this land you've called me to, so that my desires really would mirror your desires and you'd give them to me, freely.

a rich rich heritage...

My grandmother was altogether one of the most talented women I have ever known. I remember her laughing a lot and joking (she was really quite funny and where my dad clearly gets it from!) and when sitting (she was always moving), always with some sort of needle work in her hands. My fondest memories are of her in this state of mind. 

This little dress was mine, made by her, and I've only been searching for its 'misplace' for over a year. The smocking is simply endearing. The detail so fine, the fabric so thin and delicate. 

How delighted Sophia and I were to discover its whereabouts yesterday! And even more happily surprised it will still fit for a season.

Freshly hand washed and pressed. What love is written all over this little masterpiece of fabric and threads. My grandmother loved Jesus. I know she must have whispered prayers for me while making this. Prayers for my children too. I know she knew how to look beyond her current circumstances. She could laugh at the days to come. 

God hears prayers and He is the God of the righteous. The prayers of a righteous man availeth much. 

Thank you Grandma for your prayers and investment in the kingdom of God. The seeds you sowed are reaping a harvest indeed!

April 10, 2014

The weather is warmer. Bikes come out. Muck boots replace snow ones. The layers slowly make their way inside to a big heap by the door the longer the hours go by. Before I know it, this brown and dull and muddy will be bright and blue and everything luscious and life breathing green. I love how spring appears to take me by surprise. I know one day soon I will look out the window to check my adventurers on the their 'nature walk' in the woods only to be shielded by buds and leaves too thick to see past. And I'll wonder, when did that happen!? 

For now we're finishing up loose ends in school, always thankful this time of year we made the push all winter long to close shop just as soon as things begin to melt and change.

A part of me likes to hold onto winter. I really love the cold and I don't mind the snow. Part of me longs for sun, something new, flower gardens, dirt and dirty kids, and deliciously fresh vegetables! I long for a tomato to taste like... a tomato! 

But I know tomorrow may never come. I know this is the day that The Lord has made, so I want to rejoice and be glad in it.

What spring (so far) has looked like around here:

Liam drew me when I was a little baby. Look how happy, chubby, and cute I was!

Burning the midnight oil. Easter bow-ties for my boys= a labor of love.

Today: Emperor Palpatine and I have NO idea who? I'm still everything pupil when it comes to Star Wars!

The kids and I are making an herb garden to transfer to...the deck,  just beyond that glass! For now, I can handle that kind of gardening! Lemuel-proofing them has completely slipped my mind, though we've only had 2 accidents. That babe is ready to eat some dirt!

life with our lemuel...

In less than a week my baby turns ten months. Ten whole months with this dimpled (legs, chin, elbows, and knuckles) gem of a love.

Really. He has been simply that, our Lemuel-love. And I find myself calling him Love or Love-Love. 

This baby loves his bed. Takes wonderfully long naps during the day and nurses on and off all night. Wants nothing to do with food of any kind, though I've really only tried a few things. I can't even get them in his mouth. He loves the guitar. His siblings. And easily will slip off with a complete stranger (to him). After Boaz, I'm not taking this for granted!

That dimple in his chin gets me EVERY single time. What a mark of man in that chin. What a mark of his daddy. These babies of mine have such a good daddy. I mean, wow. This daddy even lets these babies of his sleep in bed with us, giving up his place next to me for one that I must say is particularly snugly, warm, and everything delicious! I'm not complaining. He could, but never does. At times I think he humors me. Other times I know he likes it just as much. It's altogether too fleeting. We enjoy this season.

How I ask, could you not?! Just look...

Clap-Clap!

A favorite spot. When the Internet isn't working, I know the culprit, every time.

White onesied shirts and squishy bellies. Some welcome spring. I welcome SKIN! 

I LOVE it!

Long arms. Big hands. Dimple alert.

That face! What a babe!

WHAT a babe.

Change!

Can I sneak in this last day of MARCH?! with a sign that life does in fact still reside here. Everyone is busy. Or tired. Or just plain tired of winter. I hear/read about it all.the.time. I refuse to say the like. (I actually don't mind the cold, at all, and you will never hear me complain.)

I would instead like to proclaim God has been on the move, as He always is, as He always will be. To me, that's not busy work or a season altogether I feel burdened to speak of, bound to, or even bitter against in my tone. Quite the contrary. The Lord has been preparing our hearts and it came rather quietly though a loud and fierce fire has been ignited in our souls. It's been brewing for a while.

A whole chapter closed on the 14th of this month. Gabe's last day at Alcoa. Just like that. I nearly missed the day had a friend not texted late the night before, "Wow, big day for your family tomorrow!" How could I forget?, other than the fact that the Lord alone has done an amazing work in my heart to trust and not even worry. A whole season God proved His faithfulness, and then some! DONE. Nearly 6 years. I can't even begin to describe and tell of His goodness, but let me say just this, our God goes before us. The Lord beckoned change and called our very names. He put this very desire in our hearts long ago.

How can we refuse Him? How can one ignore that leading and call? That faithful One in whom we trust, there's just no other place I'd rather dwell.

A grand step of faith one would say. Though I would quickly clarify and correct: obedience and humility and yes of course, much faith that isn't even our own doing. Aligning with a will and purpose not our own, yet intermingled with us on the deepest level. How can one teach obedience to their small child in hopes they hear His voice and respond some day, if they themselves have no idea what to listen for? I want to teach and lead my children by example.

We're listening and we're following. Simply. We're expectant and excited! (BIG UNDERSTATEMENT) Gabe had his first official day in his office space in POTSDAM! What a small to anyone else, though BIG God dream come true to us.

5 mins Babe. That's it! I'll see you later!

Thank you to you as outsiders looking in who have heard right along with us and shared of your time and prayers. You've cared to ask and have been excited with us. Even complete strangers! You've dreamed big dreams with us and for us and all for His glory. It has all been invaluable to us, to me, in this season.

God has been so faithful. To us. To His kingdom here on earth. What a God. And for whatever beautiful mystery He desires these earthen vessels to take up their cross and follow hard after Him, to be His hands and feet here on earth.

So...here we are Lord, we continue to say.

Would you keep lighting our path before us?

days we call 'this blur'...

What our Super Bowl Sunday evening looked like, before nearly catching the house on fire. Oops! All that was lost was that little card someone wrote to me in, that of course was so fitting for Valentine's day decor. Guess the blower on the fireplace is more powerful than I realize! I sure am thankful for the warmth it gives during these very cold cold days!

Not just for lovers. We celebrate so much more. First given to us, so that we then can give freely. It's beautiful really. And I can get on board with that. The cheap tacky teddy bears? Not so much.

Now this was interesting. Who knew making fun would be so hard to do? Well I did. Which is probably why this little endeavor, though always in the back of my mind to do, had always remained just there... in the back of my mind. But alas! Spontaneity is the name of the season we're living in and so, one Saturday afternoon I trekked out into the woods with these three hooligans for some hot coco and our read aloud. Once we got past the bad attitudes (seriously?! I'm going to be giving you hot coco!) of which nothing a good hardy stern pep talk couldn't bring those wandering by the way-side back to the straight and narrow, all FUN was beheld! Really. And I'm so glad we persevered to make this memory.

 Table settings by the light of the...SUN!

I think I know! Gabe and I will look back on these wearisome days and probably not remember much about them. Here. Gone. In the blink of an eye. My parents tell me this, "You'll lose a decade or so of your life and you won't remember much." So... I'm taking pictures of these relentless days just to remember we lived through them and did so abundantly. Even if we don't really remember them all that well.

This was my view from the island after lunch today.  And I love it. I really really do! 

I only ever wanted babies. Lots of them. With a home and a husband of course. However, sometimes I wonder, Honestly Lord, what was I ever thinking?! I had no idea how hard this would be. How stretching. How challenging. And I'm just not cut out for it, with the truth of the  matter being, I'm not! On my own I am not. He gives grace and He calls me to die to myself daily so that I might find life more abundantly, in Him. There is joy and beauty to withhold but only as a result of His work and grace in my life. I pray it shows. I want to display His grace in my life. He has been so good, so faithful to me.

This quote is on my fridge for a reason. I need the reminder often!

"The average woman, if she gives her full time to her home, her husband, her children... will be engaged in a life work that will demand every ounce of her strength, every bit of her patience, every talent God has given her, the utmost sacrifice of her love. It will demand everything she has and more. And she will find that for which she was created. She will know that she is carrying out the will of God. She will partner with the Sovereign Ruler of the universe."

Catherine Marshall, quoting her father, Peter Marshall

When I read partner with the Sovereign Ruler of the universe? No wonder we as moms can do what we're called to do. Where He appoints, He anoints!

Thank you Jesus!

mission accomplished...

Taken earlier this week when it was sunny, but this was me again today.

Fun is remembering you have snow shoes from high school (somewhere!), finding them, opening them up like it's Christmas morning, putting them on, and walking laps around the open property line while taking turns pulling the kids on the sled. Since the bike down in the basement bores me to near DEATH and jump roping for several weeks started to take a toll on my knees and back (it was fun while it lasted!) I'm happy to have found something I like, meaning... I don't feel like I'm exercising. I become lost in thoughts and prayers. Being outside? Even better. My kids thinking I'm totally awesome too? Funny and fun.

I join in on healthy heart wanna be. So when I pause to listen close to the door for babies restless in their play station or awake in their crib and I feel my heart throbbing in my chest, I think...

mission accomplished!

A happy baby and a sleeping toddler means a couple more times around before I call it a day. My thoughts wander...

I tuned into the debate last night well after it had started. I was completely unaware it was in the works. A friend passed along her current break in routine watching it. As soon as I saw the face of Ken Ham, I was instantly brought back to the color navy blue. I loved that machine sewn school uniform jumper my mom had made for all us girls. He had come for a special chapel while in the area and shared on creation.

I wasn't so sure I really wanted to embrace where it would inevitably end this time around though, from a reasonable man's point of view, as quoted often by Bill Nye, the opponent. And sure enough, he (Bill) had much more swagger, engaged with his audience better, and even had the hip bow-tie to boot. See Babe, you could wear one!

But the more I watched the more I realized, although this really must sound like hog-wash to that 'reasonable man', truth of the matter, it will just that...sound like hog-wash. Unless you've been met, changed, transformed, the veil lifted, and eyes opened it is going to seem absolutely LUDICROUS! 

I get that.

But it wasn't all ludicrous last night, I thought anyways. So what we came out the under-dog from a debate stand point? I kinda had a hunch that would be the outcome without warning.

There was a platform last night and truth was spoken. About Creator God, who loves His children and sent His Son to die for them because they had no other way to save themselves. That couldn't have been more solid. Made in HIS image. ALL life, sacred, because of such. The elderly. The unborn.

I don't need my fossil dating to line up just so to know what He has done for me, in me. I was lost and now I'm found. I was blind and now I see. He has done a work in me no one person or any other thing could ever do. I know exactly where and who I'd be without Him and it's ugly. And that's enough for me! 

Man, you can have your reason. There's an infinite God who loves you. If you look with your heart it's written in the stars.

He loves you! And from that stand point I thought...

Mission accomplished!